Tuesday

Its almost here! The last day of school for my daughter. I hope she don't drive me nuts this summer wanting to go out side. I feel good this morning. DOn't know what got into me. I feel to be in a good mood.YAY! If only I get some energry to get busy! I am plainng to go to the gym today, I am kind of excited about that too. Lord help me I lost my mind. I want to see results and I think I will if I keep going and doing what I am doing there. I want to get this FAT off of me and look good and feel good. I am ready! No set backs! I going foward with my life! So I need to get off of here and get busy. I got a whole day planned of cleaning and going to gym. I am motivated at this moment in time. Lets see how long it last.:)

Monday

It's done and over with I went to the gym today! YAY! I am getting good at this. But loseing I am not gettting good at. I haven't hardly ate since I got my tooth pulled and I am not losing any weight. There has to be a problem. I wish to know.
I am so ready to move. I hate neighbors. I got trash on both sides! If we did find a house, We probally could not sell this one. Who would want to live here between this? I have kids allday crossing my yard. Back and forward. When my mom lived here they had a path with no grass from them. I want to put up a fence. My mom had one up and one side fell cause they like to drink on one side and hit things. The other side is only half up and it is rotton out and old. I just can't wait until summer gets here and they drive me more crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday afternoon

I am so Happy I went to the gym and got that over with. I been 3 times this week. I wanted to go 5 times but since I got my tooth pulled I had to take it easy. It is so nasty outside. We got a lot of rain yesterday. My poor flowers are hung over from all that drinking. lol I went today and open a x-mas account at the bank. I am going to start saving for x-mas. i always stress over it every holiday! Well, this year is going to be different. I hope to save!!!! If we could save $50.00 a month or more. That will be good. I love money to much! I am watching Days of our lives , and trying to write at the same time. It is getting good. I love this soap and Passions and General Hospital.Thats what I have to watch Monday-Friday. Oh the mail man is here. I need to go get me bills. So much fun! lol :)

Thursday morning..........

I went to the dentist yesterday.YAY! Finally! Well, not so good. They pulled my tooth. It was in the back. But still. I was taking me pain pills yesterday. I felt silly! :) I think i may take some more today. lol I never did drugs. But shoot when you don't feel pain and you feel silly after been depress for a long time. Nah! I am not a druggie. I have a hard time taking me prozac. I don't smoke and don't drink. I am a loner. A home body. Don't do much. Shoot I been so lazy can't clean my house. I don't have any energy. I was planing to go to the gym for 5 days this week. But since I got my tooth pulled forget that. I need to take it easy. Well thats my excuss! lol I am still trying to watch what I eat. And not eating to much. I ate cheese and crackers today, so far. I think I am going to go take me a nap. I am getting sleepy......

Tuesday

Hello all! I had a good day yesterday on my diet. I feel so motivated! I don't know how but I do. I haven't hardly ate in the past few days. Maybe its the prozac that I am taking now. I hope it stays. I feel like I lost too. Thats the good thing about it. I went to gym yesterday and planning to go again in a little bit. I am determine to lose this. I am going to try this week to go to gym 5 days. School is almost out and not sure what I am going to do with Ana when I go to gym. She is not crazy about the day care there. So that my stop me from going. I got to do this for me and no one else. It is America Idol nite. YAY! i love that show. Its almost over then I have nothing to watch on t.v. at nite. :( I need to clean before I go to the gym. Later!

Monday morning

Hello all! It is Monday and I got alot to do. So why am I writing when I got alot to do? Humm..........A good question. I am starting a diet today and I am going to get skinney like it or not. lol I am going to the gym more then I ever had. So I guess that be 2 times a week. lol I was reading a mag. of the biggest loser show and they exercise at least up to 5 hours a day. Lord, that means no computer, no eating, no naps, no fun at all!! No wonder they lost so much in those weeks. I would lose too( I would lose my life 'cause that will kill me)lol. I just got to stay busy. I am going to join a group tonite called TOPS. I hope it helps. I am not sure what diet I am going on. I think WW. They say thats the best diet to do. I tried and tried. If I can just get motivation I can do it. Summer is coming and I want to be able to wear shorts and tank tops. And a whole lot less. lol In my dreams! Well, I am off to go do all my work that I got to do.

Thursday evening

Hi all! Oh What a boring day. I took a nap and now I feel so bad. I started to take prozac to help with my stress in life. I hope it works! I got so much to do and no energy to do it. I been sitting on my big butt all week and now its almost over the week. I am letting the time fly right by me and not doing anything about it. I want a life! One day I will have one. I promise. I am bored. It is almost time to go get Ana and that means I have to get out in the sun. I havent been out since this morning. I am trying not to go anywhere 'cause I don't want to spend money that I don't have. I need to save! I want so much to do at this house. I want to make a pattio in the back for we can cook out. I want to get My hubby a new grill for fathers day. A nice one. One of those big gas ones. We don't cook out much so why am I getting one? I guess I like to waiste money.lol Well, its time to brush my hair and get my shoes on and hit the door. Where is my sun glasses?

Kelly song

What if I told you No lyrics It was all meant to beWould you believe me Would you agree It’s almost that feelin That we’ve met before So tell me that you don’t think I’m crazy When I tell you love has come here and now[chorus]A moment like this Some people wait a lifetime For a moment like this Some people search forever For that one special kiss Oh, I can’t believe it’s happening to me Some people wait a lifetime For a moment like this[verse 2]Everything changes But beauty remains Something so tender I can’t explain Well I may be dreamin But still lie awake Can we make this dream last forever And I’ll cherish all the love we share[repeat chorus][bridge]Could this be the reign of love above I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall So let me tell you this Some people wait a lifetime For a moment like this[ending chorus]Some people spend two lifetimes For a moment like this Some people search forever For that one special kiss Oh I can’t believe it’s happening to me Some people wait a lifetime For a moment Like this Oh, like this Some people search forever oh yeah Some people wait a lifetime For a moment Like this.

Thursday

The weeks go by so fast now. I see my life going too with it. Dying fast too.If I don't get my life in order I will. I been depress the last few days. How can I get rid of this depression? I hate taking med's. I think I tried all kinds. Nothing works for me. I just need a whole new life.I wonder if I win the lottery will i be happy then? i want a whole new house , this house is soooooo small and old. This was my grandmothers house and she died and my Dad got it. He died and my mom still had it. She died and now I got it. I do not want to die here. I want to break the cycle. But I am not that strong to do so. I am so weak at heart. I been through a lot in my life and still going thru stuff now. I wonder how people have it so easy? Why can't I still have my parents? I feel like i am alone. No one to take care of ME. I need someone who wants to take care of me. You would think a hubby would. Maybe if He really Loved me. I wonder how I feel about him. If I go deep in my heart what would it say? I dont have much in there but hurt. Maybe one day. Well, I better get off of here my tooth is still brothering me. It time to take more pain pills.lol

Wednesday....

Well, what a day... I think I been depress today. I don't know why. Maybe of my tooth. I don't have insurance. That could be it. Who knows. I get depress over silly things. I got no life. I don't work and toooo depress to start. I wish I was able to get out of the house to do some fun stuff. I just want to stay in and be depress even more. I get nervous going places on my own. Its sounds silly but true. Then I get mad at myself for being that away. My hubby don't understand why i am this away. He says he lives his life vida loco. i don't want a crazy life. I just want a plain ol' normal one. A HAPPY ONE! I think of dyeing or being in a bad accident. I worry about my 9 year old what will happen to her? Where will she go? She is very close too me and I am of her too. We have a special bond for each other. She can't spen the nite at to many places, 'cause she can't be away from me. She had troubles going to school, because she didn't want to be a way from me. I love her too much. It is about time for me to go get her at school.I better go........

Tooth ach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh! I have a bad tooth ach. What is good for that? Insurance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Which I don't have. It sucks. I guess I 'll try to goto the freakin' clinic. Which I hate. They don't know what they r doing. Plus I get so nervous when I get in that chair. When they lay u back my heart feels like its gonna jump out of me and run away.
It is Derby this week. OH how exciting! Yeah right. I am going to bed. I took 2 stronge pain pills. I be passed out soon..........

Sunday almost over...

Hello! It is Sunday. Not much going on here. I been dieting all last week. Lord I been starvin'. I been on those fad diets. I want to lose this weight fast. I know it took me longer to gain it, it wasn't over night. I went to the gym 3 times last week plus exercise 3 time at home. YAY!!! I hop i can do the same thing again this week. I was so proud of ME! It will be summer soon and I want to be able to wear shorts. I need to be working on a tan too. We worked out in the yard today. I cut the front grass and worked a little in my flowers. This week is Derby here. Nothing exciting. I never even been to the race track on Derby or the Oaks. I just know a whole bunch of people like to come here to see all that stuff even movie stars. I use to love working on those days to make lots of money at the Hotel where I worked at. People from everywhere came down. i just stay at home and watch it on t.v. I been haveing a real bad tooth ach. I have no insurance so so much for that. I have to go to the Clinic. Yuck! I hate going there. Why couldn't I have a good job and have insurance on me. Why do I get depress too? Well, I am going to go and take me another shower for the day. I think I sweated while cuting the grass.