Thursday

The weeks go by so fast now. I see my life going too with it. Dying fast too.If I don't get my life in order I will. I been depress the last few days. How can I get rid of this depression? I hate taking med's. I think I tried all kinds. Nothing works for me. I just need a whole new life.I wonder if I win the lottery will i be happy then? i want a whole new house , this house is soooooo small and old. This was my grandmothers house and she died and my Dad got it. He died and my mom still had it. She died and now I got it. I do not want to die here. I want to break the cycle. But I am not that strong to do so. I am so weak at heart. I been through a lot in my life and still going thru stuff now. I wonder how people have it so easy? Why can't I still have my parents? I feel like i am alone. No one to take care of ME. I need someone who wants to take care of me. You would think a hubby would. Maybe if He really Loved me. I wonder how I feel about him. If I go deep in my heart what would it say? I dont have much in there but hurt. Maybe one day. Well, I better get off of here my tooth is still brothering me. It time to take more pain pills.lol